That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
