I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
