She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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