I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
