If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
