I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
