to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
