wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
