Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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