Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
