Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My vagina just clenched in fear
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
