That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
