Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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