the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
