2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
