yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Girls should come with a carfax report
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
