Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Randomize
