xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
