But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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