I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
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