oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
