So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
