East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
