spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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