Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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