Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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