mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
