I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i drank out of a bidet.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
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