Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
