i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
