No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
