I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
