Dual....:-)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
