Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
