Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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