it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
