I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
