i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
