Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
