Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
as a side note pls kill me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize