I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
