dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
