Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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