I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Vodka?
Forever.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
