I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
