The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Ketchup is God's man juice
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
