i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
