there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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