if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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