last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
