there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize