what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
