I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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