I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
