I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
