i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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