Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
