he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
