remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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