i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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