Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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