He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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